“I’m a real foodie me. Are we talking Mr Whippy, Chinese soup?…”. Erm what? Honestly, when someone tells me they are a real foodie, I don’t expect them to then go on to use food to describe poo, but yet, here I am, on the other end of the phone with my oncologist discussing my bowels. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not embarrassed talking about them, as someone who suffers with IBS, it’s pretty commonplace….it’s just that the last time I did discuss bowel habits was when a friend who’d had a baby was telling me about Johnny’s* first solid turd (which for reference, no one wants to know about – sorry proud parents!).
Anyway, the reason we’re discussing it is courtesy of the anti-sickness medication, plus the immunotherapy I’m taking, which have the side-effect of constipation, which may seem pretty harmless, but after 4 days, where nothing is moving and you’ve been pumped with steroids, movicol (a stool softener and laxative), plus everything else, it results in what I could only describe as horrendous pain, cramps and general awfulness. So, post my first chemo session, I spent 4 days lying around, with hot water bottles, not sleeping (the steroids help with that) and feeling damn right sorry for myself. After our foodie phone call, we change up some meds, which seem to help and two days later, I start to feel better.
Still, medicine is not an exact science, and it’s hard to know when to stop taking certain meds as you’re not entirely sure when they work, so I often have a precarious balance of not being able to go to the bathroom, coupled with days where I could need to go at any time.
Honestly, there is nothing more humbling than taking your dog out for a walk with your parents over a park, only to find that you’re the one who needs to pop behind a bush, while your parents are on lookout and trying not to lose the dog (who may or may not have found a squirrel to chase) – literally happened to me this Sunday!
I since found out that there is in fact a poo scale to talk about poo – yep, you heard it here first, it’s called the Bristol chart or the Meyers chart – quite why my oncologist just couldn’t ask me to google that, I don’t know!
Now, the side effects from chemotherapy are super varied and lengthy – think of a small child’s Santa wish list or those American tv drug commercials – the one where they extoll the virtues of the drug but then caveat it with a 100 potential side effects – it’s a wonder anyone ever takes them. Anyways, side effects differ depending on the type of drug you have, your response and you certainly won’t get them all. For the drugs I am on, the main side effects are fatigue (common across most chemotherapy and is cumulative), nausea (although hopefully controlled through anti-sickness meds), peripheral neuropathy (basically numbing and tingling of extremities – namely toes and fingers), mouth sores, things tasting metallic, aching bones and joints (is that even a thing)!? as well as the hair loss sitch.
Anyways, side effects differ depending on the type of drug you have, your response and you certainly won’t get them all. For the drugs I am on, the main side effects are fatigue (common across most chemotherapy and is cumulative), nausea (although hopefully controlled through anti-sickness meds), peripheral neuropathy (basically numbing and tingling of extremities – namely toes and fingers), mouth sores, things tasting metallic, aching bones and joints (is that even a thing)!? as well as the hair loss sitch.
Still, I think I’m getting off relatively lightly. The anti-sickness meds are working a treat and whilst I have some moments/days when I feel nauseous, I just suck on these amazing sugar-free ‘Queasy Drops’ that my good friends Dana and Babs bought me, and it seems to do the trick. We’ve now worked out the meds to combat the constipation, and whilst it’s not perfect, its doing a better job than the first round of chemo. One thing I have noticed is that chemo zaps the moisture from your body, so liberally applying moisturiser like you need the assistance to slip into a pair of leather trousers can help. A good friend also told me about spraying Mothers Vinegar on your face to assist with keeping your face and lips moist – honestly I thought she was making it up – 1, because I had no idea what mothers vinegar actually was and 2) because who sprays vinegar on their face… but as someone that’s willing to try anything once, so I’ve started spraying that onto my moosh post the shower and that seems to be helping a treat.
Now I’m a few sessions in, the rollercoaster pattern of chemotherapy is quite clear.
The first few days you tend to be relatively okay – the steroids that you get on the day of chemo and for 3 days post it, tend to mask a lot of the side effects, but once these go, I end up plummeting into around three days of general despair – my usual positive chipper self, replaced with tears, feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus, and generally feeling sorry for myself – It’s no coincidence that my intake of cake and chocolate take on newfound levels at this time. Then, this passes and you start the ride back up the curve and slowly but surely I tend to have one good week of feeling relatively normal before you’re back in for another session!
So, the long and short is, chemo is not pleasant – I mean duh, that’s obvious right. I feel lucky that I went into this relatively strong and fit. With each session, the tiredness levels creep up, the hair loss moves from scalp to eyelashes and brows and you start to feel ‘meh’ for more of the time than not, but I’m managing to deal with it through medication, laughter, time with friends and family and generally trying to ignore it, which sometimes works and other times doesn’t!
Ma jolie Kat
Ton courage est à la hauteur de ta personnalité
Je t envoie toutes les bonnes ondes de ma terre Corse pour t’aider à supporter tout cela
Je t’aime
vv
I read these and ask myself how on earth can anyone be this strong, this brave and this fabulous??? And then I remember her at hsbc & how amazingly funny & clever she was… and then. Envy her strength. You are one unique character. Sending you my love xx
I think this is a real great article. Really looking forward to read more. Awesome. Salli Delmer Bunde
Very humbling article and quite eye opening.. you are truly amazing Kat and an example for us all! Sending you lots of love and good vibes!! You simply rock!